I have something really special to share with you all this weekend! I was blessed to recently meet and photograph the brilliant Christian Lucas. Christian is an internationally known and published female and celebrity impersonator that lives right here in CT. His message of loving yourself and others spoke to my heart and I was truly inspired by his tremendous capacity for love and acceptance. I asked him if he would share some of his wisdom here on the blog and I was honored when he happily obliged! Thank you, Christian, for sharing with us all!
Look at you
Yes it is true
You can only be you
For this is nothing new
True love, love true
Love me too …
When it comes to truly loving ourselves we tend to shy away from the real and the heart of the matter. There are so many standards nowadays to live up to, how can anyone truly love him or her self? We continue to strive for the unattainable, we continue to ape the perfection standard and we continue to fall short. Well if you have had any of these questions or concerns then I have an answer for you. Are you ready for it? I mean are you really ready for the truth?
The truth is, when it comes to loving yourself the easiest way to do it is by loving others. Now I know some of you may have the side eye coming along or the twisted look of confusion on your beautiful face but allow me to explain. Everyone in existence; I am sure by now has heard the “oh so popular” phrase “In order to love someone else you have to first love yourself.” I am here to tell you that this statement is false and it is one of the many reasons why there is so much self doubt and self hate in this world. A baby born to a loving mother knows not what self love truly is. A child’s first love is for its mother and the family tends to follow. Love is something that is taught, just as hate is something that is taught. Now I don’t mean taught in the sense of “boys and girls the lesson for today is how to love and hate.” No, I simply mean that children learn by seeing, baring witness, and the greatest teacher of all… experience. We forget sometimes that the subliminal lessons are the ones that usually have the greatest retention in our lives, minds and daily habits.
In the world we live in we are always told to be something other than what we are. We are told by the models, the magazines, the molds and the masses to be thin. We are told by the blogs, the body builders and the books to be beautiful on the outside. We are also told by the media that we should always strive to be better. What is wrong with the way we are now? What is wrong with they way we are naturally? We say that there is always room for improvement as if there is a road that leads to perfection. The truth is that perfection cannot be obtained because we already have it in each of us. By mere definition the word “perfection” means without flaw or as good as it gets. If someone tells you that you have a flaw does that mean you are no longer perfect ? No! Flaws are personal. If someone tells you that your smile is crooked but your smile is one of your favorite characteristics of yourself then their comment really holds no weight. When we think about flaws we really can’t blame anyone but ourselves.
You are not born with flaws. Flaws are put upon you. You don’t just wake up one day and say oh I am fat, ugly and repulse others. Where would you get that from? TV? Social media? Peers? Family even? Which brings me back to the beginning; if we were to embrace each other and our differences then there would be no standard of beauty. Everyone in the world would be seen as beautiful and that would be the ideal utopia. Everyone in the world being seen as beautiful would cause a chain reaction on a beyond massive scale. Still don’t believe me? Eating disorders would be minimized drastically since the majority of them are derived from the need to be beautiful. The suicide rate would go down drastically since a vast majority of suicides (especially youth) are due to bullying and other outside forces that some people just cannot handle emotionally. Cheating would be minimized harshly since a lot of times the main excuse is that your partner isn’t perfect (80/20 rule) or is missing something. The list can go on and on and on for days until we are all blue in the face but I do not have nearly enough time or characters. You will just have to buy my book…when it’s finished.
My home work for everyone is to take 1 person per day and show them love. I do mean in the superficial sense. Instead of taking the negative approach that the world has clearly opted for, take the higher road and make someone not only smile but make their day. After you are done with the love, tell them to pass it on to two individuals (pay it forward if you will). Your final exam will be looking in the mirror the next day.
Through most all of my life I have been told that one thing or another is not okay. There is an issue with me being black, gay, fat, not societies view of beautiful (unless I am in makeup), not being a manly man, dressing in drag, and the list goes on. One thing I have found is that I don’t want to be like everyone else. I want to be a work of art all on my own.
“Will you follow what is already mass produced or will you be a work of art all on your own?” In the end the choice is really yours.
I always use art as an example because it really tells a story just like all of us as humans tell a story. Why does the popular and “perfect” work of art have to be the norm and the coloring outside the line be frowned upon? Why do we have to turn our noses up at anything that dares to be different? Why do I have to ask these questions when the answers stare us in the face on a daily basis.
When it comes to the topic of self love I can tend to get a little long winded so I will leave you with three things; 1 simple fact, 1 quote and 1 gift.
- At the end of the day, everyone just wants to be loved. Plain and simple.
- When live gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. (it means do the unexpected)
- A smile. When all else fails, you can always smile. If you don’t have any love to give anyone then just give a smile.
Feeling inspired? Thinking about a shoot of your own at our Connecticut boudoir and glamour photography studio? Contact Beth at Lost Highway Imaging with all of your questions! Send an email today! firstname.lastname@example.org